One Must-Have Hack For Socializing Confidence

Socializing doesn't mean you have to be ready to talk for hours, nor be the center of attention. You just want to contribute when you'd like.
Medically Reviewed by
Dr Hamilton

Not knowing what to say is the pits. It makes me feel like I shouldn’t even be in the room when I’m around friends that are socializing effortlessly.

When I don’t speak up, I feel unnoticed, which makes me think I’d be better off at home. I mean, If I were at home, I wouldn’t be slugging through the inner conflict of thinking I’m not good enough to be in a conversation I’m not contributing to.

Truth is, I’d love to get in on the conversation. I imagine my friends that share their opinions do it without even thinking. Wouldn’t that be nice? Just blurting something out as you think instead of meticulously planning and arranging each word as if this were a text.

Why can’t I just let the words out at the right time? Why do I always question myself and overanalyze what I want to say?

I’m ready to answer these questions. After all, that’s the only way I’ll get overcome this barrier. First, I need to understand why this happens in the first place.


Blog posts and YouTube videos about how to get involved in conversations are a good place to start. However, to really get yourself talking, it's important to look inside yourself, instead of just keep looking outside.

When we look inside ourselves, we’re able to see that our full potential to contribute to conversations is blocked by inner barriers, like doubt, fear, and anxiety.

Anxiety is a tool that we need for survival. The brain developed this response over millions of years to protect us from threats like wild animal attacks and other dangerous situations.

We need anxiety the same way a car or a house needs an alarm: to alert us when there’s danger.

The term social anxiety refers to nervousness in social situations, and everyone has it in varying degrees. It serves an essential function in our lives. It makes us more aware of those we care about and helps us nurture our social connections.

So why does that alarm sometimes make our social lives so overwhelming?

A mix of our personality, demeanor and past stressful social experiences can set our alarm to hypersensitive mode.

Whatever the underlying cause that made your "alarm" hypersensitive, the most important thing to know is that there are effective approaches for overcoming social anxiety and boosting confidence.


When people face situations that make them anxious, avoidance is the most common action they take. Avoidance keeps people in their comfort zone and prevents them from experiencing the feelings of anxiety.  

However, we know that avoiding uncomfortable situations also takes us further away from getting what we want, like sharing our opinions and expressing our ideas.

There are plenty of effective solutions that help individuals build confidence, feel less anxiety in social situations and start doing things they imagined were impossible.

Experts worldwide recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) as a very effective technique for overcoming anxiety in social situations.

CBT exercises empower you to understand how your mind works and build new skills to react more positively to situations that would usually cause you anxiety.

As a matter of fact, participants of clinical studies created new brain pathways through repeated CBT practice. Rather, CBT gave them superpowers to reprogram their brains and feel more confident.

In the context of psychology, a therapist is a person who is trained and licensed to guide a patient through CBT exercises.

Finding the right therapist can often be a lengthy and challenging process, and some people may not know where to begin. Besides that, many people think that face-to-face therapy is intimidating and can be too expensive.

Digital and self-guided approaches can also be a useful first step if you are unsure whether or not to seek further help. It is a convenient alternative if face-to-face therapy is out of reach or doesn't interest you.

Research suggests digital CBT can be just as effective as having face-to-face therapy with a therapist.

These solutions are available around the clock and are easily accessible via smartphone or computer, wherever you are. Other advantages include: it’s discreet and confidential.


Youper is a personal digital solution designed to increase confidence by overcoming anxiety in social situations. Youper re-invented Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to make it fun, interactive and engaging. 

Dr. Hamilton, psychiatrist and Youper co-founder, says that building confidence and meaningful relationships can be just like climbing a challenging mountain, it requires time and dedication to reach the summit.

Along your journey, think of Youper as your guide and the backpack full of tools. We ensure you reach your destination safely and successfully. You can even fit us in your pocket with our free app.

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